Are You Addicted To Drama

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This is a really honest question that I invite you to ask yourself. 

If you didn’t grow up with any frame of reference on what a healthy, loving, and supportive relationship looks like, you may find yourself subconsciously gravitating towards what feels most familiar. 

I talk with women all the time who share that they didn’t have any kind of healthy relationship “modeling” for their entire childhood. As they increased in awareness, they recognized that they have somehow repeated past patterns or attracted a version of their mother, father, or caregiver into their intimate life. 

I was talking with my beautiful client Sarah one day (name changed for privacy) and she told me a story about how she was sitting on the couch one day talking with her boyfriend and he was saying the very same words her mother once said to her as a child related to how she manages her time. 

She was constantly caught in drama with this man and realized through her self-development and feminine energy practice that she had drawn in a man who was deeply familiar yet didn’t align with what she truly yearned to have in her relationship.

She had subconsciously drawn in her mother, as the subconscious draws in what feels familiar based on memories of our past. As you expand in your awareness though, you get to change this underlying belief system and connect to the part of yourself that is more expansive.

This is where you are able to connect to the higher wisdom of the universe and be guided by what you can’t access within the five senses. 

Sometimes we attract men who show us where we need healing. Sometimes we attract men who not only show us, but men who are also able to heal right alongside us. This is a powerful distinction and one that requires us to be ruthlessly honest and open with ourselves. 

If you find that you’re addicted to drama in your love life, I want to share three ways you can start opening yourself up to a new way. 

  1. Be Okay With Having Nothing Wrong

If you didn’t experience a lot of emotional safety or emotional consistency growing up, the notion of being peaceful and present may feel like a foreign concept. 

Notice in moments of stillness what happens within yourself. Does the ego voice start talking loudly? Do you start looking for problems that need solving? Or do you notice yourself feeling present, open, and allowing the experience without your inner critic trying to step in and taint it?

If you find yourself uncomfortable with being comfortable, having awareness around this is critical. It’s from here that you can practice awareness of the ego voice and commit to honoring the deeper part of yourself that’s underneath. There is nothing more attractive than a peaceful and present woman! A high-quality, masculine man is extremely drawn to a woman in this gorgeous space. 

Practice being in your body, being with yourself, and feeling all the sensations that show up. It’s here where you can talk with your ego and let it know it’s safe to simply be and also thank your ego for the concern while also letting it know that there’s nothing to worry about or fix for the next 30 minutes, lengthening this time steadily. 

2. Let Go Of Deflecting And Defending

Do you find yourself being defensive the majority of the time? Are you able to receive both positive and negative feedback from a calm and centered space? Or is this a trigger that activates you and drives you to defend your stance or vantage point at all costs?

This is an area where we all can improve. It’s not easy to receive negative or critical feedback, it can be very activating!

 With increased awareness though, you’ll notice it doesn’t feel very good to get caught in this pattern.

It feels so much more powerful and impactful to let go and remain committed to being a peaceful woman.

This doesn’t mean being a doormat, rather it means practicing listening to another person, trying to understand their perspective, letting go of being right, and making them understand your inner world.

 

It’s when we let go that the other person is invited to also let go and increase their own awareness around how they’re showing up.

It’s here where they are more able to see the impact that may be having on the relationship too.

Choosing to let go can be one of the most powerful things we can do. 

3. Don’t Grow Little Problems Into Big Problems

 

Where do you find yourself putting your energy and focus?

Do you find yourself watering the flowers or the weeds?

When a woman doesn’t feel safe within herself, she may find herself constantly reacting to this subconscious seed inside of her. 

If she’s doing this, even the smallest things feel unsafe and scary.

She will unknowingly direct all of her energy towards them, growing and expanding them by reacting to this deeper seed inside of herself. 

When a woman is able to recognize this tendency or pattern, she can then consciously choose to water the flowers and regulate her body to feel a new sense of safety and ease through consistent awareness and practice. 

 

If you have found yourself catastrophizing your love life, I invite you to stop and redirect your focus. 

 

Choose to neutralize your thoughts by breathing into where you’re holding this pain or grief within your body.

Ground yourself in the moment and send that inner little girl inside of you love and reassurance that she’s safe and you’ve got her back.

Bring the heart and mind in unity through this practice of anchoring in this offering and you’ll find yourself slowly and steadily watering the flowers instead of the weeds. 

 

If you’d like to sink into your peaceful energy underneath worry and old patterning, download my magnetic sensitivity meditations here! 

 

With Love,

Jen

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