Are You In A One Sided Relationship?

Have you ever had that nagging feeling that you’re taking less than what you deserve in love? Or that you’re an overgiver and your desire to be liked tends to override your ability to express boundaries and hold space for yourself? 

If you’re anything like me, I felt like I couldn’t say no or hold space for myself with a man that really intrigued me. I had no problem doing this with the men I wasn’t interested in, and couldn’t understand why they were the only ones that seemed to continuously pursue me. 

What finally woke me up from this cycle was getting my heart broken by a man I realized I was in a one-sided relationship with when he disregarded my birthday. 

Something awoke in me that day when I realized no celebration or acknowledgment of it was planned. I realized I was in a one sided relationship and that I was ready to be done. It honestly was such a tough thing for me to do at the time, but one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. It was me finally saying yes to myself and no for taking the crumbs he threw to keep me in it at his convenience. 

This opened the door to me meeting my husband, doing my own inner work,  and then expanded into me becoming a full time coach. 

When we say yes to ourselves and face what is, it’s here that  we step into all that is possible in this beautiful life. Below I’ll share three ways to know if you’re in a one sided relationship. I believe this will help you recognize if you’re taking less than what you deserve and to feel empowered in making changes that will inspire him to step up. 

  1. They Don’t Prioritize You The Way You Prioritize Them

You do many things to make their life better but this feels far from reciprocal.

It seems like you’re always considering their feelings, whether it’s something big or small, but when it comes to your life, none of those special considerations are ever made. 

There is no give andor take. You find yourself bending and over- accommodating to satisfy what they want yet this begins to feel expected rather than appreciated or considered. 

What you can do:

Begin by getting clear on what you need and the space in which you’re giving from.

If you’re an over-giver, you’re likely giving in hopes that they will return the favor or acknowledge you in some way!

I recommend to stop giving from this space, and instead give from a cup so full, that you don’t have any hidden attachments or expectations in the gesture! 

The second step to this is to identify what you’re feeling and ask for what you need clearly rather than hoping they will just know.

This sets others as well as ourselves up successfully because we are not putting unspoken expectations on things in which we’ve never communicated. 

2.The Relationship Feels Stressful, Like You Always Need To Be Doing Something

It feels like the responsibility of keeping the relationship alive falls solely upon you.

If you’re not thinking ahead or making things happen, no forward motion occurs from the other person.

This is where we are heavy in our masculine energy because we don’t want to face the fear of what would happen if we stop pushing and planning. 

In life we always have two choices, and nine times out of ten, the more uncomfortable road tends to be the right one. 

We want to have a willingness to face what is and where we’re avoiding the truth in all of the “doing.”

Where are we choosing crumbs instead of choosing ourselves? 

It’s important to be so honest with yourself and not rationalize all the reasons you don’t deserve more.

This doesn’t mean ending a relationship necessarily, but I invite you to have an honest reflection on whether or not it feels good to be the one keeping the relationship alive. 

3.You Find You Have To Constantly Sweep Your Emotions Under The Rug 

You don’t feel like you can express yourself freely.

If you try to express any emotions whether positive or negative, they aren’t reciprocated or they are shut down. Your attempts at connection feel dismissed or ignored.

You’ve learned to modify your behavior for the most part so that you don’t upset them. You pretend at a surface level like everything is fine yet yearn for deeper connection. 

This can lead to you feeling like you have to actively suppress everything that you’re feeling! This may lead to an emotional build up where it just erupts and you then get labeled or feel completely misunderstood. 

This may also lead to deeper feelings of low self worth because you’re not living in authentic self expression rather walking on broken glass to avoid upsetting them in any way. 

What to do? 

Be honest with yourself and where you might be avoiding by accepting an unclear,  ambiguous,  or a boundary-less relationship. 

Are there things you have refused to communicate because you’re scared of things ending? Change is in identifying your needs and being open about them. 

Over time you will see if you are with someone that can hear you and compromise with you. If they are you will be in a much happier spot, and if they aren’t you will make a hard decision rooted in truth and choosing yourself  versus avoidance of what is. 

Some women are challenged when it comes to light the spark that makes him more generous and loving to you.

There’s usually a lot of emotional baggage that often shows up as “I already tried that and it didn’t work”.

 If you find yourself in a similar situation and mindset, I encourage you to book an introductory session with me.

 I’ve been told I have a knack for getting to the crux of the problem quickly and then creating multiple options to choose from.

 Book Your 50-Minute Appointment With Jen Here

Love,

Jen

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