Convey You Won’t Take Less (No Words Required)

Have you ever sat a man down from a triggered space to explain what you need, why you need it, and how he should be doing it?

Have you also been completely shocked when the conversation fell off the tracks and what started out with the best of intentions has turned into a complete train wreck?

I used to be the master at putting myself in these sorts of situations again and again.

I always thought if I could explain what he was doing wrong well enough then he would stop getting so defensive and see my point of view. 

This of course never happened and almost always made our level of connection even more tense and stressed. 

He would get defensive and somehow the whole thing ended up feeling like it was all my fault and I would wonder how I lost all of my clarity and leverage within a matter of minutes. 

As I learned more and more about feminine energy and not communicating with a man like a man, it all changed. 

Below I will share with you three ways you can convey that you’re not going to take less all  by being deeply intentional in regards to how you show up for yourself. 

  1. Neutralize Fear

When we’re triggered we’re operating under fear, scarcity, or a survival instinct of some sort. When we are reacting from an emotional space that has deep roots attached to it, he can’t hear us and will likely become defensive or have a flight response. 

By no means am I saying you can’t ask for what you need, yet he gets to decide if he wants to honor that need or not. Then you get to decide if that works for you or not. 

The biggest mistakes occur when a woman shares from her pain points as to why she needs what she needs and makes him the reason for her sadness. It will never serve us well to try to get what we want from a space of “making him feel bad.” 

Ideally, we want to share from a full cup or at the least a neutral space. 

It’s here we’re connecting from a secure space within and not making him responsible for our feelings or well-being. 

When he feels that you’re not letting your triggers lead, he will feel more safe to listen and more inspired to honor what it is you need. 

2. Detach

People misunderstand what detached means. It is often interpreted as apathy or indifference.

When I use the word detach, what I am meaning is to not get sucked in from a triggered space. Detach means to wake up and start thinking! 

What are you reacting to?

 Are you having a reaction that’s disproportionate to the situation? 

What’s going on inside of you? Are you sweating, nauseated, tensed up, or breathing shallow?

Rise above the intense emotions and see the situation from a conscious perspective so you can handle it differently, and from a loving space!

If we can see that our trigger is showing us what lives inside of us that needs our conscious attention, we start to lean into them differently. We see that the trigger is pointing to what needs to be awakened within. 

3. Remember Your Value 

A man intuitively knows when you’ll wait around wishing and hoping and when you won’t. Trust that when he feels you won’t patiently be there to witness his confusion, he’ll start finding clarity on what he wants quite quickly!

This is where you hold the hand of your inner little girl and remind her of her value.

 She can’t miss what’s meant to be hers!

If he can’t figure it out that’s okay, but you value your life too much to sit around hoping he figures it out!

Yes your ego will likely come up and discourage you from rocking the boat. It will want to rationalize staying comfortable and in state of hoping something changes. 

Yet on the other side of choosing ourselves is the freedom to know what is and what we’re working with. It’s from here we can open the door to saying yes to ourselves and literally magnetize what is meant for us because we’ve energetically opened the door to doing just that. 

Book a 1:1 Introductory Call with me to gain clarity and perspective on your situation!

Love,

Jen

 

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