Detach To Increase His Attraction

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We hear the word detachment and we often think of cold, aloof, or apathetic. 

In my experience, this is a big reason so many women I support are scared to give themselves full permission to feel light, happy and live in the present moment. 

In my own life, I remember feeling like if I felt bad enough, punished myself hard enough, or ruminated over something long enough, then I would get what I wanted.

In reality, this is what kept me stuck in cycles of having the same lessons repeat themselves over and over again. I eventually realized I couldn’t learn the lesson because I was continuously getting sucked into the problem.

If we are always allowing ourselves to get pulled into what’s happening around us, life becomes a game of WHACK-A-MOLE where when one problem ends, a new one begins. 

In today’s newsletter I want to share why when you detach, you naturally increase your magnetism. 

  1. Rise Above

This means you don’t let another person pull you into their mood, their behaviors, or negativity.

You are THINKING and considering how you want to feel. You are the steadiness of a lighthouse while they are out at sea instead of joining them in the tumultuous waves. 

A lighthouse is simply there to be of service.

When you’re ready to come to shore, it’s there to guide you.

It’s not there to judge you, accuse you, or make you feel bad. It serves as a reminder that you have a choice. You can stay in the water, or you can come back to shore. 

Most don’t remember that they have a choice because we’ve been taught to be codependent. Example:

When you feel bad, I should also feel bad. 

Consider  the opposite: 

You’re allowed to feel bad. I am here for you if you need me. 

How empowering is it to give full permission for another to experience their emotions without having the added pressure of having to also take care of ours?

This is choosing unconditional love and allowing others to be where they are without having to control anything. 

2. Steadiness

You are a human so of course you will notice if your love is in a bad mood or trying to displace their difficult emotions upon you. 

It is from this space though that we remind ourselves that we have the power to choose how we want to show up for ourselves. 

If we can maintain a steadiness and access our own masculine energy to nurture and comfort the little girl inside that feels scared, we are no longer participating in codependent programming.

We can simply witness her and let her know that she is safe with us, we see her, and we’re always there for her.

Needing that safety from another is rooted in old survival mechanisms that no longer serve us. 

In this practice, we are now honoring ourselves. We are no longer demanding that anything on the outside be different before giving ourselves permission to be okay. 

3. Stop Amplifying Your Part

I’ve had so many clients observe themselves making everything their fault. 

Common examples:

Is the boss in a bad mood? Well, they must have done something to cause it.

 Is the boyfriend irritable? Well, he must be having second thoughts about the relationship.

Is your best friend a little distant? Well, that’s also likely because of us. 

It’s here you notice why it can be so challenging to not get pulled in! So often we don’t even notice that our ego is telling us a story from a space of the worst case scenarios and we’re buying into it. 

If this is a tendency you have, I invite you to slow down and observe the reactions you’re having within yourself. 

Let the feelings of urgency pass, get conscious, and decide from a clear space what to do next. 

You can save yourself so much energy, regret, and hurt when you choose to show up in this intentional way. 

Join my new YouTube membership!

If you want to be able to connect and have an opportunity to have support from me in a very cost effective way, I would love to invite you to this new community. 

This will be an opportunity for those that join to have exclusive monthly Q&A’s with me, tailored meditations that fit what you’re needing, early access to new videos before they are public, and more!

See all the details here!

Love,
Jen

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