He Won’t Want To Lose You

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Most women that seek support from me long for the type of intimate connection that can withstand the test of time.

We live in a society that bombards us with messaging saying that if we don’t fit in a certain box, we’re doomed. 

It ranges from being told we’re disposable after a certain age, it will be very hard to find love if we have “baggage”, our time is running out, and we all should basically be in urgency mode at all times. 

I want you to know at the deepest level that none of us need to buy into this.

What you want is truly possible and I want you to see that you have a clear choice in terms of what belief systems you operate under, and what you know is possible for you in this life.

This requires us to tune into ourselves and quiet the noise of what types of messages we’re taking in around us. 

A long deeply connected relationship comes through the ways in which we approach love.

Our most beautiful and magnetic qualities are our energy, our open hearts, and the freedom we feel inside our bodies. 

 If we’re approaching love from the needs and demands of the ego, our relationships will feel dramatic, rift with conflict, or just feel shallow and superficial. 

When we’re connecting from another from a space of surrender and open heartedness, the ego subsides and we build something that’s rooted in truth, love, and that can easily last a lifetime. 

Three Ways He Won’t Want To Lose You AND Healing Your Relationship With The Masculine (in any stage) From The Inside Out:

  1. He Doesn’t Want To Feel Responsible For Your Emotional Well-Being

It’s quite easy to subconsciously put the responsibility for our happiness onto our partner. When we do this though, he stops feeling free and open to give.

 It starts to feel heavy, almost like he’s going to get in trouble if he doesn’t do it! 

This type of energy truly takes all the fun out of giving to another. 

Yet when we take responsibility for our own well being, and do things that bring joy and possibility to our lives outside of him, he feels free and inspired again.

Some ways to know if you’re sense of well-being on him:

-Checking your phone again and again

-Giving to him in hopes of receiving in return

-Waiting for him to advance the relationship

-Making him responsible for the way you feel

The opportunity is to focus on yourself, stop investing more , give from a full cup only, and take control of the way you feel by supporting yourself with the things that bring you ease. 

Your awareness and practice around this can create life changing results in your relationships no matter what stage you’re in. 

This will also be deeply healing for you as you will feel more and more empowered to make yourself feel good, enjoy your own company, and become deeply discerning in regards to what you allow into your life. 

2. You Aren’t Putting Your Life On Hold

It’s so hard not to put our life on hold when we really want to spend quality time and connect with a man. 

YET, this also leads to resentment as again when this is occurring, our investment level is higher than his. 

There is a difference between holding space to be with what we’re feeling and entering a state of feeling like we’re utterly helpless until he makes his next move. 

I have been in this space myself as there was a time in my life where I wasted almost three years on a man who couldn’t make up his mind. It all changed when I decided to stop waiting.

When we choose to not live life based on hypotheticals or in hopes the other person will awaken or change, we attract from a very different space. Men feel when we’re willing to wait and when we aren’t. When they feel intuitively that we will not put our life on hold while he figures his out, he will figure things out very quickly.

This is an invitation to be present for yourself and to make choices that support you right where you are standing now. 

  1. You Work Towards A Secure Attachment Consistently

    It’s so easy to fall into insecure attachment tendencies.

    I noticed in myself recently wanting to seek reassurance from my husband and catching myself.

    When situations like this come up, I use them as opportunities to get still within myself and to get curious around what I’m needing.

    I know that this is my cue to go in and explore.

    I will watch myself want to REACH and instead make a conscious choice to settle deeper into my body.

    I will also catch myself wanting to influence him, or have him see me a certain way.

    Instead I settle into myself and trust him to have his own experience.

    I trust him to come to his own conclusions in life without stepping in from a space of fear or an urge to control in any way. 

    Healing an insecure attachment isn’t about never having challenging emotions. It is rather the commitment one makes within themselves to recognize what’s going on inside, choosing to work through it bit by bit, and  show up from a space of self love and self honor.

    This is what it looks like to be in integrity and truthful within ourselves.  When we can do this, we heal instead of hide. This creates a deep sense of safety and security within as you process and show up for yourself as a loving and nurturing parent to the inner child.

Love,

Jen

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