Heal Yourself To Heal Your Love Challenges

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Love and relationships without a doubt bring up the deepest parts of us that need healing.
This translates into most of us having to go through the mud to get to the beauty that’s on the other side.

In my coaching practice, women will share some of their deepest triggers and emotional pain they experience with their partners or in different dating situations.

I remember a time when my husband would express his needs and in my mind it translated into something else that had nothing to do with what he was asking for in the present.

For example, if he would simply say “I need space,” this brought me back into the past, completely activating my abandonment trigger.
I would travel back in time to an 8 year old girl who was scared that if she made a mistake, she wouldn’t be loved and accepted.

In my work with women, we work to trace back the source of the pain and pattern.

We create an awareness around when and how the story we tell ourselves developed.

Not only do we address the issues that are surfacing around love, we also go back to the original source that’s triggering the painful reaction in the body.

We start to see that we’re reacting to something far deeper than the current situation.

Just like when my husband said he needed space, he didn’t know that in my world that translated to me feeling like I wasn’t lovable, accepted, or enough as I am.

In his mind it meant quite simply: I need a little time to process my emotions.

There’s a big difference between those two interpretations.

It was no wonder why he felt like in his mind a reasonable request was met with “drama” and confusion.

Once we realize what exactly we’re reacting to, we can open ourselves up to connecting and sharing with a man in a truly powerful and vulnerable way.

It all starts with connecting more fully and more honestly to what we’re feeling and then being brave enough to share it.

This practice is incredibly healing and will change your love life no matter where you are in the process.

The work I do with women inspires healing from the inside out; there is no strategy or game. As a woman unlayers what it is that’s weighing her down, examines her old stories, and releases the excess baggage that’s no longer serving her, she shows up with a different energy. Men feel this and it will inspire them to show up, protect, and cherish you.

If you’re used to activating all the wrong parts of a man when you’re feeling triggered or upset, I’ll share three ways your emotional experience can bring out the best qualities in a man.

1. He’ll Stop Competing With You.

When a woman stops trying to be right or win an agreement, her energy changes.

He starts to look at her differently and feel very different around her.

He stops trying to conquer and win in the way he would with Mark at the office or Steve at the bar.

He feels her feminine softness and it triggers him to go into his heart.

When a man goes into his heart, it ignites his instinct to protect and love.

He stops looking at you like a man and starts to see you as the beautiful feminine woman that you are.

2. You’ll Start To Trust Yourself More

When you move into your feminine energy, you become less reactive and more curious about what’s underneath the urge, the impulse, or the thought.

You’re creating a new relationship with fear, one that allows it to be there, instead of quickly trying to get rid of it or run from it.
You now have an awareness of the fear and what’s coming up for you, but you’re choosing to move towards love instead.
Over time, the fear starts to diminish and the love starts to grow.
What once felt scary and unpredictable now feels safe and manageable.
When a woman trusts herself, her actions convey that love and faith she has in herself. As she grows to know herself more intimately, she trusts the process of revealing her true self. This polarity between the masculine and feminine ignites his attraction and love for you.

3. You’ll Realize That Less Is More

If you’ve been hard at work trying to manage everything and keep it together, you’ll start to feel and embody the concept that less is more.
You’ll realize that all of that over-efforting only led to an increase in anger and resentment.

You’ll start to recognize your subconscious patterning and recognize that giving to get never leads to what we want.

As you consciously choose to do less and honor yourself more, you’ll realize it feels so much better for you, as well as for him.

Less truly is more.

When a woman recognizes that she doesn’t have to do anything except lean into her intuition and what feels good to her, she’ll never go back to the old way of trying to make it all happen on her own.

Love,
Jen

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