How To Attract Him Back


If your man feels distant and your relationship feels like
it is moving further and further away, I know how much anxiety this creates and
how it can become the only thing we can think about.

We start to panic and think about every mistake we may have
made along the way. We want to know what we can do to “fix” it and bring
everything back to the way it used to be. It feels urgent and we need a
solution immediately.

So often we go about trying to fix our relationship and try
to reclaim our man’s heart by doing all of the wrong things. We often end up
doing more of the things that caused him to become distant and disconnect in
the first place.

When he doesn’t respond to any of our efforts in the way we
expect, we experience so many emotions. Fear, feeling hopeless, sad, and angry.

We start to believe that the situation will never change. We start upping the ante to get his attention, trying to get him to step up again.

Before I learned the tools I now have the privilege of teaching, I wanted to take dramatic action, like giving an ultimatum or threatening divorce

If you want to turn things around quickly in your
relationship, it’s more about what we STOP doing vs what we can do.

A masculine energy man is DRAWN to a woman by the way he
feels when he is around her.

What does this mean?

This means a woman must love herself more than she loves him
or the relationship.

This means that we cultivate the love we want TODAY inside of ourselves and no
longer give that power away. If we believe he has the answer to our
unhappiness, we have made ourselves a victim to our circumstances.

If we choose to just accept less than what we deserve, we
are taking on the belief that life is happening TO us vs the empowered state of
everything is happening for us.

Accepting less than what we deserve, or demanding more from
him will not bring a man closer.

Inspire him to come back this way:

When you learn to love yourself in the ways he is not (for
right now) you will see him start to move closer again. There is a magnetic
DRAW for a man that inspires him want to move as close as he can when he feels
at a gut level a woman loves herself MORE than needing him or any other man.

If we don’t learn how to love ourselves more than any man,
we will find ourselves always walking on egg shells, living in his head
wondering what is wrong, or what he is thinking or feeling.

I love to compare this to a balancing pose for those of you
who enjoy yoga. When we are practicing tree pose as an example, we firmly
GROUND our standing leg into the ground. We practice standing firmly even as
our body starts to sway, and move around. Our work in this balancing pose is to
tune inward and not allow ourselves to become distracted or fixated on anything
other than our breath and holding the posture.

This is very similar to our relationship. Our work is to not
allow our emotions to be dictated by what he is or isn’t doing. Our work is to
focus on ourselves and to take responsibility for feeling as AMAZING as we
possibly can on our own.

The beautiful thing about this work and all of the Rori Raye
tools is that relationships can recover very quickly when we stop doing all of
the things that don’t work. Men are extremely forgiving when they feel the
change vs. talking about it.

Just like in tree pose, when we ground through our heels and
lean back into it, we regain our sense of stability and balance. When we find
it , we are calm, we soften our shoulders, unclench our draw, loosen the grip
of our fingers and toes….This feels SO much better than when we are forcing our
body into it by clenching and tightening up.

Leaning back is practicing self-love and self-care.

It energetically conveys that you trust him to step up. When
he feels that he is trusted, he want to DO more to keep your love and trust.

A lot of emotions come up around leaning back and it can
feel scary when we are used to carrying the weight of the relationship and
doing everything to keep it alive.

Leaning back puts you in the precise position needed to
receive everything he has to give. It gives us the opportunity to see CLEARLY if
he can give us the love and type of relationship we want without having
manipulated or distorted it. It also gives him the space he needs to rebuild
and feel attraction again for you.

This shows him that you are confident in yourself and that
you are not trying to control HIM or the relationship. Masculine energy men
cannot stand feeling like they are being controlled in any way.

Leaning back also means the more concrete things such as no
initiating, no calling, no texting, no emailing, no suggesting, no advising, no
pleasing or telling him what to do or how to do it. It means no longer engaging
in arguing, explaining, or trying to be RIGHT or have the final say.

When you are with him next, imagine yourself in that open
receptive mode, holding steady and calm even when you are swaying and trying to
maintain your balance. Unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders down, heart is open
and you are physically leaning back. Remind yourself that you don’t need to
make anything happen and that you are enough as you are. This will inspire him
to give you all the things you miss and deeply desire to have again with him
without having to utter a word.

Breathe through the fear that comes up and recognize that
the emotions will pass. Holding your balance, remaining steady and strong even
when it feels like you want to fall out of the pose or drop down to the ground.

Use the breath to bring the focus back to yourself and away
from the fear. This will get you back into your heart and out of your head.
This is where he connects and this is what inspires him to reconnect.

I would love to hear how this works for you and your
specific situation.

xx Jen

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