How To Inspire A Man To Spend More Time With You

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This is a common question I receive from women and also a common complaint!

It never feels good to be in a position of wanting to see a man more than he wants to see you, or to feel like you’re less of a priority to him in dating or a relationship.

This of course isn’t just about time, but the quality of the time spent, and to truly feel like a man is present and focused on nothing more than truly connecting and being fully with you.

I hear from women all the time who feel like the man they are interested in or already with is physically there but fades in and out or gets a glaze over his eyes when she’s sharing something about her day.

This doesn’t feel good, as of course you want to feel like he’s totally with you, cherishing your heart and your words.

If this is something that has been an issue for you or something you simply want to deepen, I’ll share three ways you can inspire a man to want to spend more time with you.

1. Give Him Freedom

As I often say, this is very counterintuitive as logically you may be thinking that the man has too much freedom which is part of the problem!

Having worked exclusively with men for 10+ years I can confidently say that masculine energy men value freedom above anything.

The energy of trying to pin him down or solidify a day and time feels terrible. The only way it’s going to feel good for you as well as for him is to give him the freedom to fully choose you.

It’s here it moves from the energy of obligation to the energy of freedom. Men don’t value what they don’t get to choose at the same level, so creating the freedom for him to fully choose you is transformative.

If he doesn’t step up, you’ll learn a lot about him and if he can actually show up in a way that meets your needs. If he starts picking up the ball, you’ll feel like a queen and feel so much more confident and secure in yourself as a result of giving him the freedom to fully choose you.

2. Communicate Using Actions Over Words

Do you find yourself hinting, prompting, expressing frustration, or even giving ultimatums?

It’s true that men don’t often respond to hearing it, but rather need to feel it at a deeper level.

This can only be done when our words match our actions.

This means you’re developing the confidence to have boundaries, stay true to them, and take care of yourself in a way where you’re not placing any emotional expectations on him.

You’re instead choosing to see who this man is and what he’s capable of, deciding over time if it matches what you truly need.


You: I’m open to making plans over the weekend.

Him: Doesn’t respond

You: Give it the appropriate amount of time for you and then make other plans to do something fun.

Him at the last minute: Do you want to do something later this evening?

You: I’d love to go out with you, but I can’t tonight. I need a few days’ notice to plan for it.

Keep in mind that you’re sharing this need with warmth and kindness. No drama. No escalation.

3. Be Easy To Be Around

It will be impossible to practice this third step without incorporating steps one and two as you’ll be most likely bottling up your emotions in an attempt to not rock the boat.

It is critical that you take care of yourself in a way where you actually feel like you’re easy to be around when you’re alone with yourself.

This energy will then translate when you’re around him.

If you feel like you’re building resentment or worse yet, find yourself flaming mad at the choices a man is making, things can go south quickly as you’re not taking care of yourself in a way that allows you to be easy to be around!

Lowering your expectations and investment level in a person that isn’t showing up is key because you’ll feel high value knowing this has to be earned over time and consistency.

You’re likely to feel bad about yourself any time you’re reacting instead of responding as men have a way of turning things around when this occurs.

What was once a legitimate concern you had now is twisted and turned around because you reacted from a space of intense emotion that had been building up over time.
As you learn to give him freedom to choose you and let go of the need to make him do something, you’ll be easy to be around because you’re not energetically putting all of your eggs in one basket.

He in turn feels this level of love and consistency towards yourself and is inspired to move closer as a result.

This is what allows a woman to be magnetic and so attractive to a man.

I saw something the other day that said “The sexiest thing about you is your energy.”

Remember this and adjust as needed! I am confident you will create beautiful new outcomes and possibilities from this space.

Book a complimentary discovery call with me here to talk about how I can support your unique situation!

With Love,


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