How To Stop Feeling Jealous


I talk with women all the time who want to work on feelings of jealousy and how to stop them from taking over in various aspects of their lives.

This can show up in so many different ways in love and relationships:

The comparison trap: This is where we look at someone else’s life or relationship and assume it’s perfect, allowing feelings of jealousy and lack to creep in.

The anxiety trap: Feeling like your needs won’t get met, creating overwhelm around the future and allowing faulty beliefs to take over.

The lack trap: This is where we get caught in responding to a deeper “hole” or perceive deficit inside of ourselves where we lose the deeper connection to who we are which is abundant, limitless, and complete.

I remember when I was having problems in my marriage I always fell into the comparison trap, making other women’s relationships better than my own. I would find myself feeling so jealous, which then created shame and felt like a vicious cycle I would allow myself to get caught in. Below are three ways I shifted and reprogrammed my relationship with jealousy:

1. Tracking Jealousy Back To Its Source

When we start to look at when we first felt jealous in our lives, we start to learn where this belief first surfaced and what belief system it created.

Did you have a sibling you were always in competition with or a parent that was critical and you longed to please?

We must learn to recognize that when jealous feelings show up, we’re reacting to our past. It’s not just the present situation but the beliefs we’ve adopted over time that cause those intense, difficult emotions that leave us feeling weighed down and not enough.

As you learn to go deeper you start to gain a little more context in regards to the feelings you’re having, and it allows you to step out of this place a bit to choose a different thought. As we learn to recognize that we’ve been triggered and are projecting old hurts and feelings onto what’s happening in our lives, we learn to stop giving energy to our past and create a new opening to respond differently.

2. Reframe Jealousy

Turn your jealousy into inspiration for what you DO want!

If you’re jealous of something or someone, this is a sign that it’s something you want and is possible for you!

Inspiration is the antidote to jealousy!

When we start to catch ourselves going into the lower vibration of jealousy, this is an offering to guide us into alignment with what we want for ourselves. We then can redirect our focus to what the other person has that we want and start laying a foundation to build a better relationship, life, or career for ourselves. Inspiration is slow, steady, and deliberate. We simply lean into what feels good and start building brick by brick. Jealousy is when we throw our hands up, allowing overwhelm to take over, assuming the person who has what we want is extra special or some type of unicorn that we’ll never measure up to. Practice reframing your feelings with jealousy by no longer making yourself bad or wrong, but look at it as a sign to direct you deeper into what you want to create in your own life!

3. Cultivate a Gratitude Practice

Giving thanks moves us into an entirely different frequency and changes the lens in which we view the world! One does not just wake up grateful; we’re wired for survival.

The energy of abundance, joy, and gratitude is cultivated through a daily practice.

If we’re focused on what we don’t have or all that is wrong, the universe delivers more of the same.

When we choose to shift our focus to the things in life we’re grateful for, no matter how simple, we create more from this space. This can be a beautiful day, hearing the birds sing, a hot shower, your house, your car that allows you to get places, this list can go on and on!

Practice looking at everything in your life from a space of abundance whether it be love, men, kindness, or finances.

When we’re focused on what’s wrong we can’t celebrate all that is right. Shift your frequency to all that is right and ask the universe to give you even more to celebrate!

I would love to hear how these three tips support you in transforming jealousy into inspiration.

I recommend my audio program When He Walks Through The Door to help you sink into your feminine energy and the side of you that already knows you’re enough.

With Love,


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