How To Stop Obsessing Over A Man


I receive a lot of questions on the subject of how to stop overthinking and obsessing over a man.

If you’re single and are interested in a man that isn’t pushing things forward as quickly as you’d like, or in a relationship with a man that’s pulling away or becoming more distant, I’ll address how to stop yourself from ruminating over the situation.

As women we’ll find ourselves caught in our head overthinking the situation and as a result, lose a part of ourselves in the process.

In the work of uncovering our feminine energy we’re using our awareness to move past the instinct first and to also challenge the cultural and societal norms that we’ve become accustomed to operating under.

When you learn how  to naturally elevate yourself, there’s not so much room to put him up high on a pedestal.

Accessing your feminine energy allows you to find your center again so you always remember your own value, worthiness, and that you’re not the only one with something to lose!

1. Remove Him From The Pedestal and Put Yourself Back Up

If you’re obsessing over a man, you’ve been subconsciously building him up, making him bigger and better, and as a result have been lowering yourself.

You may have some awareness of this and look back over time and wonder how the dynamics got so skewed.

This is what often happens when you’ve been putting all of your energy and focus on what another person is doing or not doing.

At the end of the day you have no control over what a man chooses to do or not do.

Yet you can inspire him to value you, step up, and cherish the woman that you are.

As you catch the behaviors that subtly devalue who you are while simultaneously stopping behaviors that elevate him so high, you create more opportunities for him to see you and celebrate the woman you are.

We bring him back down to a man, just a human, someone we like and are attracted to but have not made into a celebrity or have assigned a mystical status.

2. Stop And Redirect

If this resonates, you likely already have some awareness around your tendency to obsess or over-focus on him.

As you continue to strengthen your awareness and notice this tendency within yourself, you can deepen this by catching yourself, calling yourself out, and stopping it!

As soon as you become aware that you’re doing this I invite you to simply redirect the thought and deepen the connection you have within yourself by asking yourself what it is you need to give to yourself in that exact moment to feel more centered.

This is what will inspire him to see the beautiful and valuable woman you are without having to do a thing. This is the essence of your magnetic sensitivity and feminine energy.

Continue to stick with this practice by grounding yourself and redirecting the thought to something that reminds you of who you are at your core.

This will train you to give yourself what you’re seeking from him, releasing the habits and patterns you’re looking to grow out of and shift. This of course creates a palpable sense of freedom for him and inspires him to step up.

3. Releasing His Perceived Opinion Of You

As you continue to take action from a really beautiful space of awareness and show a carefree and playful side that isn’t caught in your head, he’ll naturally be drawn in because this is extremely attractive!

When you’re caught in obsessive thinking, you miss the joy because obsessive thinking leads only to more obsessive thinking such as:

I wish I would have done this earlier…

Is it too late…

Why did I say that?

What did he think?

Do I need to clarify or explain anything?

This list can become endless!

Instead you want to simply catch the pattern of thought and start where you are right now.

One thing that I admire about the masculine is in their ability to open themselves up when they see a woman change at a core level. A high quality masculine man will respond and open himself back up when it feels at a gut level things can be different.

It’s when he feels that you authentically love and respect yourself over his needs or over the outcome of the relationship that he will let his guard down.

You then begin speaking his language, energetically conveying that while you want things to move forward, you’re not willing to devalue yourself in the process.

You then release the sense of having to walk on broken glass, become comfortable in your own skin,  and elevate yourself by choosing not to make his opinion of you so important.

If you find yourself obsessing over a man, practice these three skills and I’m confident you’ll strengthen your vantage point so much over time that you’ll approach love from a place of confidence and worthiness from within.

If you could use some support around deepening your feminine energy and exiting your head, check out my audio program When He Walks Through The Door. 

With Love,


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