How To Stop Worrying About Being Enough For Someone

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How To Stop Worrying About Being Enough For Someone

I talk with women everyday who are caught in a state of chronic worry around whether or not they have what it takes to make their relationship work, if they have the necessary skills to keep the man interested, or if they’re good enough, smart enough, pretty enough…the list goes on and on. 

That’s the problem with worry, when left unchecked, it leads to more worry and more things to worry about. 

The work I do with women isn’t just about how to be successful in love and relationships, rather about how to live a life filled with joy, abundance, and ease. 

Worry takes away from our ability to experience life at this high level. Many go through life with this steady hum of the ego warning them of what could go wrong. Love and relationships can exacerbate this habit and often lead a woman to a heightened state of worry that feels overwhelming and insurmountable. 

Below I will share three ways you can release worry around being enough for someone. 

  1. Remind Yourself He’s Just A Human

Reminding yourself he’s just a human means to recognize that he’s just a man in the world trying to figure life out too.

He isn’t any better than you and to treat him like he is only creates disconnection and causes more worry.

This is where I invite women to recognize what they’re focusing on.

If you notice you’re building him up, switch gears and begin to bring your attention back to yourself and all the beautiful qualities you bring to the table too. 

When a man feels like a celebrity or a star around you, he feels uncomfortable.

Men can’t connect when they’re feeling doted on or gushed over. 

All masculine men want to feel respected and heard.

Consider this energy is distinctly different than when we’re fawning or elevating a person in a way where it feels like they’re above us.

Take him off the pedestal and simply practice relating to him on a natural level, the way you would with friends, family, and the people who know you best. 

2. Notice Any Childhood Themes Coming Into Play

Since intimacy activates and reveals our childhood wounds more powerfully than any other type of relationship, we want to recognize what we’re reacting to inside of ourselves that is old and unresolved.

Perhaps love and intimacy trigger feelings of  not being important, not feeling heard, seen, or understood. So often when we feel visceral emotions or find ourselves caught in chronic worry, it’s not about what we think it’s about.

It’s something that we haven’t processed or healed inside of ourselves. Worry can be an invitation to look and explore what’s going on within ourselves in a different way.

Worry creates a false sense of security and safety; it can make us feel like we’re doing something.

It can be valuable to go deeper in exploring your relationship with fear and what it would mean and look like not to have it.

Who would you be without having something or someone to worry about?

3. Stop Focusing On Disappointments Of The Past

It can feel like an uphill battle sometimes to switch our thinking from all that could go wrong to all that could go right.

Yet, with awareness, consistency, and patience, you’ll find yourself more and more able to naturally shift your thinking in this way.

This starts with recognizing when you’re projecting into the future, where you’re looking to identify breaks in a pattern, looking for evidence to support what you don’t want, focusing on a negative outcome a friend shared, or taking on someone else’s experience. 

Such examples limit our thinking and our ability to truly see all that is possible from an expansive point of view. 

It’s important to acknowledge our feelings around past experiences and spend some time understanding what we need and what we want moving forward.

Yet if we’re living in fear or worry about previous experiences happening again, we’re missing the present moment fully and creating a self fulfilling prophecy, as no connection can be made from worry. 

Tool To Shift This Habit:

Catch yourself worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet.

Sit comfortably in a chair and actively relax your jaw, your shoulders, your legs, and chest.  Take a deep breath to the count of four and inhale the word “possibility”. On your outbreath exhale out the word “worry”. 

Think about something you want in your life.

Talk to your inner self and let her know she is safe to release worry and focus on something that brings her more pleasure and joy.

Allow yourself to explore this for 5-7 minutes or longer. 

Now ask yourself: What is something you love to do?

Allow it to be something you can do in the near future for yourself. 

Honor your answer and let this be something you do for yourself to build a deeper trust and connection within yourself. 

As you learn to listen and honor yourself, you’ll build trust within and  develop the ability to let go of the past to create a life you love. 

I would love to invite you to join the waitlist for the next offering of my Attract Him Forever Group Coaching Program. Sign up on the waitlist to be the first notified and to receive early bird pricing! 

With Love,

Jen

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2 Comments

  1. Gaida Rituma on 03/05/2023 at 12:04

    Thank you so much🙏

  2. Gaida Rituma on 07/05/2023 at 23:51

    Hello Jen,
    Thank you so much for all that you’re doing😊
    Now I’m reading your online book “Magnetic Sensitivity “
    It really helps, because I m in relationship with man who is introverted and I m extrovert. Also he is very like not emotional and empathy level is low which is totally opposite to me.

    We have good all other things and our time together, but I have to work with myself more and be more calm, react more easy to things.

    I will keep reading a book and start practicing all you write there.

    Sincerely,

    Gaida

    Norway

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