Love Versus Attachment

I often see many different situations where attachment gets mistaken for love. 

In this newsletter I will break down the key differences between the two and why knowing which one is guiding you is essential in having an expansive, thriving, interdependent, and healing relationship. 

If we have tended to get the two confused, it’s not something to blame or beat up on yourself for either. 

We can’t do better until we know better. 99% of the movies, TV shows, song lyrics, and adult modeling of what we were told LOVE looked like, were actually examples of codependency and attachment. 

As we grow in our own awareness around where our attachments are running us- we get to change the way we relate to love and the way to give and receive love from a man. 

This shift invites love to be built from a beautiful foundation from the root up!

It’s from this space that love can grow and thrive because the foundational pieces are in place.

And if you’re in a relationship and don’t feel you have a solid foundation- there is a powerful opportunity to approach this now through your own awareness and commitment to growing in love while releasing attachment. 

  1. Love Is Expansive

Love is expansive and service oriented. 

Attachment is centered around getting one’s own needs met through another person. 

Attachments treat love and life as a means to an end…

Example: I’ll be happy after…

The truth is if we can’t feel content now, we are not going to feel content later. 

The more we tune in to ourselves and connect to the frequencies of love and gratitude, the more we then naturally create from this space and magnetize from this energy. 

We are no longer demanding specific conditions be met FIRST. 

This does not mean you can’t hold space for your desires. It means that you trust the process and know that choosing to be grateful and loving today is the recipe for receiving all that is meant for you tomorrow. 

2. Love Will Liberate Us Whereas Attachments Will Control Us. 

This dynamic will continue until we choose to stop seeking safety through another person who is human.

All of us humans are bound to make mistakes and let one another down from time to time. 

Ways to begin feeding love start with creating safety within ourselves.

Instead of looking OUTWARD to figure out what we need to get to feel safe, we instead begin looking INWARD to see where we’re self abandoning or betraying ourselves even on teeny levels to receive love or acceptance from another. 

Are we seeking love and connection from a space of scarcity or fear? 

Or are we aware and working through those emotions in our body so we are energetically leading from a space of faithand trust?

Are we asking a man to give us what we aren’t willing to give ourselves? 

As you begin to witness the aspects of yourself that need growth and healing (instead of judging or reacting to them) you begin to grow in compassion, self love, and feeling safe inside your body.

This attracts a partner or a reorientation (for those of you in a relationship) for a man to reflect this level of willingness and openness back to you. 

3. Love helps us open, heal, and expand.

Attachment creates contraction and possessiveness. It is rooted in feelings of fear, desperation, lack, uncertainty, and jealousy.

Feeding the frequency of attachment feels heavy and like we’re a hamster spinning on its wheel. 

It tends to suck all of our energy as when we’re deep in our attachments we exhaust ourselves quickly as we’re trying to control the uncontrollable. 

Attachment often leads us to make ultimatums/ put conditions on another that are rooted in  unresolved wounding. 

 This often leads to what psychology calls a self-fulfilling prophecy as we are subconsciously feeding the fears and limiting beliefs held within. 

This will continue until we become willing to see where we are being asked to grow and reprocess all the fear and heaviness that we used as a shield to stay safe.   

Are we willing to look at life from a space of deeper inquiry so we can create from a place of love? 

Love is always where we are being guided and asked to return to. 

When your relationship is built from this emotional 

orientation, there is a level of protection and joy that can’t be accessed any other way. 

Love,

Jen

Posted in

Leave a Comment