In talking with my clients I’m hearing a lot about the difficulties of being with their partner 24/7.
Today I want to talk about some ways I’ve helped clients and their partners navigate these strange times.
I want to share eight ways to navigate how to enhance intimacy and increase the connection with your partner, even in these really difficult times, and even without a lot of flexibility in your arrangements or situation.
1. Create Space
When I recommend creating space I’m not talking about getting out of town for a few days or even suggesting that you leave your physical environment.
Creating space can be just that creating and carving out space for yourself in your place, even if you’re in the same room together.
This means really making it a priority to have some time set aside for yourself to be with yourself for yourself. Intentionally carving out high quality time just for you where you’re setting aside an hour or two to read, exercise, write, or whatever it may be, without trying to coordinate anything with him at the same time.
It can be easy to cut our time short or interrupt it by following up on a question we wanted to ask him earlier, or feel tempted to coordinate a logistical issue such as dinner or errands that popped in our head when taking space.
When we step in and give into such impulses, we’re not really taking space.
Space is prioritizing that time for ourselves and trusting that anything that came up can be followed up on later.
Taking space is about intentionally choosing not to interact or interrupt our time with other things that pop up in our head during this dedicated time.
It’s about making ourselves a priority so we’re able to give our best to the relationship during such challenging times.
Prioritizing taking care of yourself will give you a chance to reconnect with you, and it will give your partner a chance to do the same.
Consider that deliberately setting this intention each day is huge in honoring ourselves and what we need to approach the relationship from a fuller cup.
You’re giving each other some energetic room to breathe and enhancing how you show up later when you do reconnect.
2. Start Expanding Your Life Right Now
Expanding your life right now can mean anything that you’ve wanted to explore, try out, learn, or develop within you.
This can mean signing up for an online community type of class that you’ve perhaps had past interest in, but you never did.
This can look like researching something that’s of interest of interest to you, diving into it and getting your mind off of the day to day.
Starting to break up the routine is key to not feeling stuck in the day to day monotony.
We want to lean into challenging ourselves in a new way.
When we start to do anything new out of the ordinary it immediately shifts our attention and energizes us with a fresh focus.
We want to give ourselves ways to grow and expand, even though it feels more difficult and less flexible to navigate.
3. Balancing Your Feminine Energy
I’ll often hear from my clients things like:
“I’m feeling so resentful.”
“ I’m feeling like I’m walking on eggshells.”
“I’m feeling mad.”
If you’re feeling emotions build up, yet feeling like you can’t acknowledge them for fear of rocking the boat, all of those emotions have to go somewhere.
It’s so important that we balance this energy so we’re not feeling resentful, angry, or approaching things from an empty tank.
We want to restore some balance by reconnecting to our feminine energy, giving ourselves permission not to always have something to “do” or to stay on top of.
This can look different for all of us, but some great ways to reconnect to our feminine energy are so simple.
It can look like taking a walk, getting out in nature, going near water, whether that be the ocean, a lake, a pool, or a bathtub.
It’s more about allowing and less about doing.
It’s also an opportunity to reconnect to yourself, and let go of feeling like there’s an endless to do list of things that have to be taken care of only by you.
You’re giving yourself permission to be present and to be in the moment. To not feel like you’re in a rush, simply slowing yourself down to be right where you are right now.
Balancing our feminine energy in this way allows us to let go of resentment.
It allows us to fill up our tank so we’re then showing up from a more loving, more soft space within us.
This is because we’re nurturing and nourishing ourselves, putting ourselves and what we need first.
4. Catching Patterns And Cycles As Soon As They Show Up
If you’re socially isolating with your partner in a smaller space, whether it be a house or a studio apartment, this isn’t a great time to start having heavy or triggering types of discussions.
If there’s already an edginess, and if we do get into a triggering discussion, there’s nowhere to go with it!
If there’s been a lot of past issues you’re tempted to bring up, I invite you to put it on the back burner for now.
Instead we want to shift our focus to making some deposits in the relationship as much as possible.
I’m not saying if something comes up not to address it, but if there’s something that happened four years ago, that’s kind of been bugging you consider it’s probably not the right time to bring this kind of thing up.
A way to support this is in discerning between what needs to be talked about now versus what can wait.
For four additional ways to strengthen your relationship during this time, subscribe for part 2 below.