Three Leaks In A Relationship

When we’re in a relationship, whether in the early stages or together for decades, we want to be aware of any “leaks” that exist within it.

A leak is when the relationship is prone to breakage because we haven’t dealt with the truth of what we’re feeling within ourselves or brought to the surface what we may also be witnessing in him. 

If we have a tendency to bury our head in the sand, avoid rocking the boat, or overcompensate for past experiences, a leak can turn into an unexpected flood, leaving us feeling unprepared and unprotected from negative outside influences. 

I invite you to be really honest with yourself when it comes to this topic as what often feels too scary to face is the very thing that transforms the relationship. 

Below I’ll share three common leaks and ways to address them if you feel their presence in your unique situation. 

  1. He hasn’t fully claimed you 

When I say the word “claim” I don’t necessarily mean marriage, but it can mean that if it is what lives in your heart! 

Masculine men thrive in making decisions and “trusting their gut.” 

If he is living in the gray and leaving doors open because he subconsciously wants to have options open or is scared of commitment, we will never feel totally loved, cherished, and chosen by him. 

We must be aware of tendencies to rationalize taking less from a man out of fear, because in doing this we are pushing down the guidance from our heart. 

Being claimed means he has made a decision that aligns with what feels deeply right for you too. He has stepped into that decision and is doing what is necessary to support, foster, and thrive within that decision. 

When a man stands behind his decision in this way, being in your feminine energy feels quite natural and effortless. 

When he lives in the gray or his version of “claiming” is different from what lives in your heart, there is something that often needs your honest reflection, attention, and courage. 

2. Past resentments are active

Past resentments are negative experiences that haven’t been fully processed and therefore seep into the energetics of the relationship. 

In this we want to be deeply discerning around why we’ve avoided facing the issue and if it’s fear based.  If it is, this fear will show up in other unconscious ways.

We also want to be able to see clearly what requires a conversation versus what can be better demonstrated through actions over words. 

This requires patience and self trust to truly see what supports our relationship the best so we don’t get  sucked into the instant gratification tendencies of the ego. Trust me, I’ve done this many times and have found my impatience and desire to speed things up only set me further back. 

3. Forbidden Subjects 

 Forbidden subjects are when you long to share what’s in your heart but don’t dare to do so because you know it will be met with much resistance. 

This can happen the other way too – where he has shut off sharing deeply with you because of not feeling like there is a safe space to truly share, or that it will end up leading to resistance or a feeling of now having to take care of your emotions. 

This can heal with attention and steady nurturing. 

You can rebuild by humbly starting where you are. 

This comes from not NEEDING him to show up a certain way but by owning where you can begin to grow and open your heart again. 

Maybe that looks like reminding him of the women he was drawn to in the first place… 

Maybe it looks like expressing your desire to him and letting go of the outcome…

Maybe it looks like steadily filling your cup up each day and being open to what this invites in for the two of you…

Being in integrity and doing the right thing goes a LONG way to opening a man’s heart again. 

No games, tactics, or strategies. These won’t serve you in the long term and you’ll end up right back where you started. 

Be bold this year and face your fears so you can have the deep intimacy and connection with a man that you crave.

I teach all of this in my upcoming group Rediscover Your Feminine Essence . We build these skills from the inside out. All of this is already inside of you already and I can’t wait to help you draw it back out. Sign up for the waitlist for special perks here! 

Love,

Jen

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