What Are You Afraid Of?

Please check out my recent article on Digital Romance Below!!
A question I often ask my clients is what are you afraid of? As we learn to LEAN BACK, without trying to control or manipulate a man, a lot of our own fears can come up.
It’s so easy to cover up our own fears and insecurities when we are in our masculine- our DOING, ACTION- oriented energy. As a woman, when we are taking action and driving the relationship, we are in our masculine. When we are in our masculine, we are often being driven by fear or a lack of trust. We think that the only way the relationship will work, or that the only way things can move forward is if we are in the driver’s seat.
It is actually the opposite. Letting go can completely change the course of your relationship. I always recommend to my clients that they LEAN back and STOP taking over so that they can see the truth in their relationship and see what a man can be inspired to be when we stop the manipulation, intervening, controlling , and taking over.
By embracing an inviting, trusting, present, non- reactive, FEMININE energy, we learn to see what IS and we also get to learn if our man is the one for us. Letting go can inspire him to step up in ways you never thought possible. As we take the pressure, expectation, and agenda out of the relationship, we are surrendering and releasing our own fears. We start to heal, and in turn we are inspiring the relationship to heal as well.
When we lean back, what we are doing is surrendering control. We are recognizing that the only person we have control over is ourselves and that there is nothing we can do to make another person do what we want.
This can feel so scary and can bring up all kinds of uncomfortable emotions for us. So, again I often ask the question: What are you afraid of? Some of the biggest answers that women have shared with me are:
That he will forget about meThat we know what he is thinking and feeling so need to do somethingThat he is pulling away so we have to start taking action
The answer to all of these questions is NO.
The only way to inspire connection with our man is to lean back and not control, manipulate, soften or fix.
We also only know what a man is thinking or feeling is, if he decides to share that with us.
Anytime we are trying to remind a man of us, guess what he may be thinking or feeling, change the way he is feeling, want to explain, or get in his head about how he may have interpreted a situation- we are leaning forward.
This feels extremely controlling to a man and it causes him pull away. The energetic vibe comes off as insecure and needy.
I remember I used to always be in my man’s head deciding how he felt or interpreted something when I had no idea. As I learned to lean back, I learned to mind my own business and take care of myself and my own feelings! It’s about TRUSTING ourselves so we can TRUST him. It’s also about being compassionate with ourselves so we feel good about ourselves and authentically loving towards him.
It’s empowering to embrace that the only person we can control is ourselves! Once we get our focus off of him and on ourselves, the vibe shifts to one that conveys confidence and soft feminine strength. THIS is what brings him close.
I would love to hear from you!
Xoxo Jen

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