What To Do When Your Mindset Is Blocking The Love You Want

The Law of Attraction teaches that love comes to us through our thoughts, feelings, actions, and energy. We attract who we are being, and how we are showing up for ourselves and others each day. So much of the work I do with women is around creating the best possible mindset so that a woman is able to attract the type of man she deeply desires.

There is SO much opportunity for love, yet we often can have so many blocks and barriers to it built up within us, that we do not know how to access it. How a woman chooses to think about herself, men, and what she believes she deserves out of life will impact the type of man that shows up in her life.

There are some easy affirmations I recommend women use daily to start shifting the negative patterns and belief systems that are preventing her from having the love she wants! This in turn changes her “vibe” and the energy she is putting out there with men.  What can often happen when feeling disappointed, discouraged, betrayed, or heartbroken is that our energy starts to feel very heavy, sad, angry, etc. The law of attraction says that if this is how a woman is feeling, she will attract more of those negative emotions, so shifting our mindset and practicing excellent self-care is key.  Below are four ways to replace negative thoughts so that a woman can feel her best to attract the love she wants.


 The Love I Want Is Coming To Me

Finding the love that you deeply desire is possible. Trusting this is key! Knowing that everything is working out exactly as it should be. I work with so many women who have had the mindset that love is SO hard, that it cannot be easy, and are in a negative, hopeless place that this will ever be possible for them. When a woman shifts that to “Everything is working out as it should be, the love I want is completely possible for me” she is going to feel hopeful, excited, and energized about all that she has to look forward to in love and life.

Awareness Exercise:

When you catch yourself going into a habitual negative thought pattern- bring some awareness to it. Soften and relax your body. Unclench your jaw, and soften your face muscles. Roll your shoulders back and sink into your chair. Start bringing some awareness to your breath, lengthening your inhale and exhale to 5 counts. Repeat this 4x. Observe how focusing on the breath breaks up the thought pattern and allows room for the inner dialogue to shift.



Love Is My Focus

If a woman is only focused on what she doesn’t have and is coming from a LACK mindset, she will attract more LACK into her life.

Gratitude is key in cultivating the life that we want. So often we become so accustomed to focus on what is missing, that we are not even aware that this is where we are focusing all of our energy. Creating awareness around our thoughts is the first step in changing them, as well as creating a shift in our energy. Choosing a better thought will then create a shift that we can start to build off of to change our focus.

Gratitude Exercise:

Think of three very SIMPLE pleasures that you are grateful for. THEN imagine each one and allow yourself to really FEEL into each one. Notice the “lightness” that comes from this focus.

#3 Opportunities For Love Are All Around Me

I always invite my clients to bring opportunity for love into all of their interactions throughout the day. This looks like making eye contact when saying hello to the cashier, the person walking down the street, random strangers, etc. Use ALL interactions as an opportunity to connect and to practice gratitude. So often I will see the person at Starbucks ask someone how they are doing, and they mutter or grumble “fine.” What if they were to have made eye contact with that person and answered with presence and authenticity? When we are PRESENT and AUTHENTIC others feel this within us, and it creates a connection. When we practice presence and simply BEING in the moment, we soften, open up, and our living in our heart VS. our head. A man can feel this! Starting in these small ways that we often take for granted, leads to creating a new, healthier, softer and more feminine way of being.


Bring some awareness to daily interactions with men by noticing how many men may say hello, smile, hold a door open, ETC. Bring some presence into each exchange by deliberately choosing to make a small connection. Allow yourself to visualize your energy dropping down from your head to your heart as you bring some gratitude and appreciation to a small gesture or exchange. Notice how when you interact deliberately and authentically, how you feel. Repeat this as often as possible.




I Am Enough Right Now Just As I Am

If you have ever felt pressure to be perfect, or felt like you needed to be 10 pounds lighter, have your hair three inches longer, or have your income higher to have love, I can completely relate! So often we will tell ourselves that we are not “ready” for love yet, as we are subconsciously holding ourselves to a standard of perfectionism. When we practice accepting ourselves and become comfortable with our perceived “flaws” other will as well. To be able to have compassion and a solid love for ourselves is key in attracting the love we deeply desire from our partner.

Self-Acceptance Tool:

Look in the bathroom mirror. What are 10 things that you appreciate about your body and face? What are 5 things you would like to improve? Start to create BALANCE around the areas you want to improve by bringing awareness and focus to the areas of your face and body that you appreciate and love. When we have so many things to love about ourselves, suddenly we have a new space in us to accept the areas that we would like to improve without putting our life on “hold” as we try to reach a certain standard.

As we learn to have more compassion for ourselves, we start to soften and become more open to everything around us.


These are just four things to practice in opening up new possibilities when it comes to love and relationships, as well as so many other areas in our lives. If you want to learn more about how to create the love you want get my free report and newsletters here:

You will be amazed at the possibilities that open up.


Jen Michelle

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