Why Guarding Your Heart Won’t Get You What You Want

I came across a video the other day that was of the opinion that telling women to be vulnerable is terrible advice.

I’ll admit, I clicked on it because I was curious to hear the explanation as to why the woman expressing this opinion felt the way she did. 

The argument was that no matter how great someone may seem, it’s our job to protect our heart because all humans are imperfect and can succumb to judgment, contempt, and criticism of one another. 

The feminine energy is what prepares us to deal with life so the internal is managing the external, not the other way around. 

Otherwise, we’re just walking around with a thick outer shell trying to protect ourselves and control what ultimately can’t be controlled. 

The opinion of this person made me think about how it’s really about building internal strength and being intelligent in discerning who we’re being vulnerable to, and to do so only if that truly feels right and good within us. 

Avoiding vulnerability as a whole only limits our emotional capacity.

When we show ourselves that we love ourselves enough to expose who we are, we’re growing in self-love.

We are building a strong center knowing the place from which we’re showing up is rooted in love, acceptance, and our innate inner intelligence. 

In the spirit of the new year, I want to share three ways to practice showing the world who you are a little bit more, while doing it bravely and unapologetically!

  1. Where Are You Editing?

Part of masking vulnerability is the instinct to present the most polished version of ourselves. 

This can look like always having to be prepared, look perfect all the time, and show a less transparent, filtered version of our lives. 

The issue with this is that it’s not relatable and perpetuates a belief that unless we show up at our highest level, we’re not enough.

Where can you embrace your imperfections or challenges a little bit more so you feel safe revealing them to the external world? 

When you begin embodying the energy that you accept yourself as a beautiful work in progress, the world and the man reflect this self-acceptance and love back. 

2. Set A Safe Tone For Others

When a woman loves and accepts her imperfections and has built a strong center within herself, others naturally feel more safe in her presence. 

When you exude an energy of openness, acceptance, and spaciousness which allows the freedom for others to be whoever they are, vulnerability becomes second nature. 

This is where real connection occurs. 

This is where you connect to the feeling within that’s really a deeper truth and recognition that it feels better to show up than to guard. 

This is where you can look back at your life and not have regret.

 It’s when we guard and play small that we often feel regretful and disappointed that we didn’t truly put ourselves out there in a meaningful way. 

3. Wear Something To Remind You

As silly as it may sound, building new habits takes practice and continuous reminders for some!

I will often recommend that a woman wear something on her hands or wrist to remind her to slow down and practice being the most authentic version of herself. 

If you find that the intention is there, but in the moment you tend to default to your old way, having a visible reminder will help support you!

Let’s say you’re asked a question that makes you want to put on your armor or mask, and as you’re thinking of how to respond, you glance at your reminder. 

This will trigger new thoughts and  immediately shift you into inquiry. How do I want to show up? How do I want to respond? What will feel best? You’ll get better and better at seeing the forest through the trees and build a life of no regrets, and radical acceptance of who you are. 

I hope my perspective and three tips are helpful to you! Happy New Year to all of you! I’m so grateful for this community! I wish you a year of beauty and abundance! If you’re feeling called to draw in more love and connection in 2022, join the Attract Him Forever waitlist for the next offering of this group program! 

 

With Love, 

Jen

 

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